You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize