You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
