I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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