i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize