I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
