My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
