I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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