It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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