rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
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