it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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