if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
