She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
