Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
