When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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