What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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