just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
