either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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