yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I think I died a long time ago.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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