never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
