Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
