well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
