I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
