he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just pee around me
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
