I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
