I just cut my nipple shaving
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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