I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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