Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he thought i was a dude.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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