The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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