Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
