she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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