I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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