Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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