Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
40s are totally the cure
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
