Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
