My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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