I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
