her vagine was all disorganized.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
