just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize