Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
