Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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