No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
