I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
