Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
