i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm both gender and math confused
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize