whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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