I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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