I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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