Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
