Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I supernannyed him into submission
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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