Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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