Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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