I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
