Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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