my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize