You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
