i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
