3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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