omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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