im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
