OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
