if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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