Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
