You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize