Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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