Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
